![]() By Sharmini Odhav Before my baby was born, I tried to imagine what she would be like. When she wasn’t sleeping—which I expected her to do most of the time—I pictured her sitting serenely contemplating the meaning of life or contentedly observing me as I went about my cooking, cleaning, or other work, all the while learning the essentials of womanhood. Little did I know that sleep would be the very last thing on her mind. She wasn’t nearly as interested in finding out what was on my agenda as she was in letting me know what was on hers. She wanted every second of my time, and nothing held her attention for more than three minutes. When she got fussy, she could keep it up for hours on end, despite my doing everything but fly through the air on a trapeze to try to amuse or distract her. At times I felt like the proverbial chicken with its head cut off, running in circles trying to clean and wash and fold and keep up with all of my other necessary activities while also caring for this hyperactive new addition to my life. There were times when I felt like I just couldn’t do it anymore, and I would throw up my arms and ask God why He was punishing me. How did other women cope? Was I the only one not, in fact, superhuman? My first reaction was to try to do everything on the double so I could somehow cram it all in to what now seemed like a minuscule 24 hours. For the most part it seemed to work, and it gave me a rush to get more done than I had before. But babies somehow just can’t be rushed through like anything else. It must be God’s way of teaching parents patience. Trying to put a baby to sleep in haste, or commanding her to “be happy,” or expecting her to entertain herself for more than a few minutes so I could do something else just didn’t work. The usual consequence was a confused, frustrated, unhappy baby, and it would take even longer to put her to sleep or help her return to her happy self. It took me awhile to realize that the less attention I showed her, the more irritated she would become. Too often I found myself barking orders or whining back at her. Eventually I asked myself why things were the way they were. What had I become? I didn’t want my baby’s first years to pass this way, and I certainly didn’t want to be that kind of a parent to my child! Then my mom said to me, “You should make the most of this time with your baby, because before you know it, she’ll be grown up!” I prayed for a change of attitude, and I got it. I learned to enjoy every moment with my baby—every smile that tells me that she’s happy that I brought her into the world, every time she nestles her head on my shoulder in trusting repose, every time her tiny fingers wrap around mine or stroke my cheek, every time I feel her soft skin or smell her baby breath, every miracle I witness in her infant life that finds me shrieking in excitement. I even enjoy her cries to have some need met because they remind me of the immense responsibility I have been blessed with—her little life entrusted to my care. And when I figure out what it is she needs or cradle her in my arms and she stops her crying or fussing, I’m left with the most amazing, satisfied feeling, realizing that I am the most important, loved, and appreciated person to her. I also imagine that the way I respond to her now will influence how she will respond to me later in life. As soon as I stopped seeing my baby as an additional chore on my to-do list, the quality of my life improved. I realized how much I love her and what an incredible experience it is to be a mother. Now I find myself looking for ways to spend more time with her, because I don’t want to miss one second of her life before it flies by. I’m thankful for this opportunity I have to pour more into her. I’ve learned that if I put everything else aside and attend to her needs, she rewards me by being a happy, contented, and attentive baby. When she finally goes to sleep, I have time to do some of those other things I wanted to. But until then, they can wait. She’s the most precious time consumer I could ever ask for! When things get especially busy and I think I don’t have time to give her that little extra, I remind myself that quality time spent with our children is never wasted. The love we store in their hearts will last a lifetime and beyond. If we invest time and love in our children, we’ll spend the rest of our lives reaping the dividends. * * *
Would you write your name among the stars? Then write it large upon the hearts of the children. They will remember! Have you visions of a nobler, happier world? Tell the children! They will build it for you. —Author unknown
0 Comments
![]() Charles and Carla Coonradt tell the story of an immense, 19,000-pound whale, Shama, that is taught in Sea World, Florida, to jump 22 feet out of the water and perform tricks. How do you suppose they teach the whale to do that? A typical parenting approach would be to mount a rope at 22 feet high out of the water, and encourage the whale to sail over it. “Jump, whale!” Maybe get a bucket of fish up there, reward the whale when it does the right thing. Set goals! Aim high! And you and I know the whale would stay right where it was. The Coonradts say, “So how do the trainers at Sea World do it? Their number-one priority is to reinforce the behavior that they want repeated—in this case, to get a whale or porpoise to go over the rope. They influence the environment every way they can so that it supports the principle of making sure that the whale can’t fail. They start with the rope below the surface of the water, in a position where the whale can’t help but do what’s expected of it. Every time the whale goes over the rope, it gets positive reinforcement. It gets fed fish, patted, played with, and most important, it gets that reinforcement. “But what happens when the whale goes under the rope? Nothing—no electric shock, no constructive criticism, no developmental feedback, and no warnings in the personnel file. Whales are taught that their negative behavior will not be acknowledged. Positive reinforcement is the cornerstone of that simple principle that produces such spectacular results. And as the whale begins to go over the rope more often than under, the trainers begin to raise the rope. It must be raised slowly enough so that the whale doesn’t starve, either physically or emotionally. “The simple lesson to be learned from the whale trainers is to over-celebrate. Make a big deal out of the good and little stuff that we want consistently. Secondly, under-criticize. Children know when they screw up. What they need is help. If we under-criticize, punish and discipline less than is expected, children will not forget the event and usually will not repeat it.” We need to make it difficult for children to fail, so there can be less criticism and more celebrations. Words for Loved Ones
![]() I received a letter in which a man told me of his childhood experiences. He had been a juvenile delinquent as a preteen and teen, but a dramatic change took place when his father began spending more time with him. Here are excerpts from this man's letter: "From the age of eight to fourteen I was a very bad boy. My father would leave for work at 3:00 in the afternoon, and come home at 3:00 in the morning. He was asleep when I got up, and by the time I got home from school he had gone to work. I rarely saw him, except for a few minutes on weekends. "I got into lots of trouble. I stole everything I needed or wanted, including cigarettes, candy, food, and money. I was incorrigible, and did poorly in school. "At fourteen I was arrested for stealing again and sent to a reform school. My father's first reaction was to be angry with me, but later he came to the realization that he had been partly to blame for not being more of a father to me. He reevaluated his life and decided to help me. "He quit his nighttime job and took a daytime one that paid less, so he could spend time with me every day. When I came home from school, he was there. He took an interest in how I was doing in school, and helped me with my homework. We joined a men and boys club. Instead of me hanging out at a dingy pool hall, we went together to a recreation center where we played pool, handball, and basketball together--all the things I liked to do. He bought me a season pass at the local golf course, and took me golfing three or four times a week. We were together all the time. "As my father showed me love and understanding, it changed my life. My grades at school improved until I made the honor roll. I made new friends who were studious and didn't get in trouble. I had been tough on the outside, but on the inside I had been crying out for love, attention, and companionship. My father's love, as demonstrated by the time he spent with me, was the key." All children need a father or a father figure--someone they know admires them, has faith in them, enjoys their company, and looks forward to being with them. All children need someone who they know will be there to feel for them and pray for them when they're deeply disappointed, to hold on to them when they're about to lose hope, and to celebrate with them when their dreams come true. Are your children getting that kind of love? We often see stories on TV of otherwise ordinary people--teachers, pastors, police, etc.--who have helped bring about remarkable changes in young people's lives, even the worst of delinquents, because they gave them their time. One such news spot featured a woman who had opened a home for troubled kids--runaways, castoffs, prostitutes, gang members--those who fall through the cracks of society. In the interview she said, "The children that I serve are the most unwanted children, the rejects of the nation." When the interviewer asked some of the kids what they were doing before they came to the home they answered, "Taking drugs." "Fighting a lot." "Pimping girls." "Shooting people for fun." When talking about the kids, the woman said, "They've lost all hope. They've lost trust in adults. We adults are too busy. We don't listen anymore. No one has time for the children anymore." When asked what the children need, she responded, "These guys? It's a very simple formula. You know what these kids really need?--Motherly love. They want role models. They want people who will be honest with them. They want someone to discipline them. They want someone who can teach them responsibility, consequences. Someone to hold them, hug them. I don't give up on them. If you teach them to give up easily, they'll give up." One of the older boys hugged this woman and said, "She's my mom. Not by blood, but in a sense, she's still my mom. She takes care of me." When the kids were asked what changes had come about in their lives as a result of this woman, the meanest-looking kid, the one who used to shoot people for fun, said, "Look inside of us. We've got hope. We've got dreams. We care too. Now I want to go to college." This woman's closing message to parents was: "Love your children. Don't give up on them. Love them till it hurts. That's what love is all about--loving unconditionally, till it hurts!" We can easily lose sight of the power of one individual. We can depend too much on society as a whole--its institutions, government, schools--so we as individuals don't feel the need to take responsibility for children, whether our own or some whose paths simply cross ours, who may need us. You could be part of God's plan of love and care for a young life. Your love, concern, and friendship could make a world of difference! Written by Maria David and reprinted from Activated magazine. Used with permission. The Chinese proverb states, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” This saying can be aptly applied to teaching our youth good problem-solving skills. You may find that it will initially take an investment of time to teach these principles of problem solving to your children, but expect to reap long-term dividends as your children learn to solve problems and make wise choices for themselves. Parents are often amazed to discover how capable and resourceful their children are when given the chance to solve their problems in their own way. All children will inevitably encounter problems of all shapes and kinds in their lives; that’s simply part of growing up. Through dealing with these challenges, they learn problem-solving skills, which are essential to success in life. Kids have unbelievable and largely untapped potential for finding good solutions to their problems. It’s wise to invest time in helping your child develop his or her problem-solving skills. Teaching children how to solve problems is an essential skill that is worth their learning while young, as it will greatly aid them in the future. However, one tendency of parents is to too quickly rectify the problem or too easily provide the answer to the problem. If you try to solve all your child’s problems, you will stunt your child’s ability to solve problems on his own. Don’t take over the fixing of the problem unless you have to. Instead, help the child find the solution. This shows that you have faith in your child’s ability to learn to handle the problem constructively. At first you will have to walk your child through each step of the problem-solving process, and it may take much more time to complete the process than if you had just solved the problem for him or told him the answer. But when you solve your child’s problem, you’re taking away a valuable opportunity for him to learn. The learning process, however slow, is part of a child’s development and growth. Little Sara borrows her friend’s doll, but while playing with it, she rips the doll’s dress. “Mommy, I ripped the doll’s dress!” Sara whimpers. “Don’t worry, Sara, I’ll sew it tonight and you can give it back to Melissa later.” Mom has fixed the problem and Sara is happy. But what did Sara learn from this encounter? “If I have a problem, ask Mommy. She’ll solve it.” So the next time something happens, she will promptly come to Mommy for solving the problem again. In the case of the ripped dress, here’s how it could turn into a problem-solving learning scenario: “Mommy, I ripped Melissa’s doll’s dress!” “Oh my. Yes, that is quite a tear. Hmm, what do you think we should do about it?” “Um, I don’t know. Tell Melissa I’m sorry?” “Well, that would be good to do. But how do you think she’ll feel getting her doll back with a torn dress?” “She might be sad.” “Could we do something to help that?” “Maybe we could fix it? Could we sew the dress?” “Excellent solution! How about tonight you and I work on sewing the doll’s dress?” “Okay!” Mommy has taught Sara how to find a solution to her problem. By helping sew the dress with her mom, Sara is also now a part of the solution. Next time Sara encounters a problem, she may still go to Mommy for help, but she’ll be aware that there will be a way to figure out a solution to the problem, and she’ll realize that she can and should play a part in the solution. As Sara practices this problem-solving method day by day, she will learn to figure out solutions on her own, and will have honed a valuable lifelong skill. Not all problems in life are easily solved, and you will have to help your children understand that, as they encounter bigger challenges. But the daily steps you take to encourage their problem-solving skills will provide them with greater personal resources to cope with the more challenging problems of life as they grow older. Teach your children to take responsibility in finding solutions to their problems, and in so doing, you will be teaching them a valuable skill that will benefit them throughout life. © TFI. Used with permission. Claire Nichols I used to struggle more often than I wanted to admit to really enjoy my children. Sure, many little unexpected happenings turned to happy thoughts later--the sorts of things that fond memories are made of--but just as often I seemed to spoil the fun for my children before it had a chance to become a fond memory. But then something happened to help change that. It started one Monday morning. No sooner had my husband gone to work, leaving me home with our two young children, than I found myself counting the hours till he would come home. By then it would almost be the kids' bedtime and things would be easier two-on-two. Morning inched past, and finally it was afternoon. I had hoped to get some work done while the kids took their afternoon naps, but that hope vanished when my youngest, Ella, stayed awake, eager for attention and lively play. When she finally fell asleep, I plopped myself in a nearby chair, but not a moment had passed before my two-and-a-half-year-old son bounced out of bed and up into my lap. "I woke up, Mommy!" he announced as though that were a great accomplishment. "You sure did!" I tried my best to sound positive, while thinking, There goes my afternoon. I guess I really won't be getting anything done today. I looked at my watch. "Two more hours till Daddy's home," I said out loud. "Let's go and get you a snack." Evan stood on a kitchen chair and leaned against the counter as he helped pour milk into his cup. I would have rather done it without his help, but remembered something my mother had recently said. "At this age he wants to do everything himself." "But that's so frustrating for me," I had complained to her. "Even simple things get complicated and take so much longer." "It's for the best," Mom had told me. "Just think of it as education--all the things you go through with the kids that are part of daily life, like brushing teeth, washing hands, dressing, making snacks--it's all brand new to them, something new to learn and experience. Those little things teach them self-sufficiency, character, and style. Remember, you're the teacher and your kids are eager young pupils in the school of life." So I had let Evan help me pour the milk. "There you are," I said as we finished. "And I'd like some bread, please--with jam on it." He knew I couldn't refuse when he asked so politely and cheerfully. I started toward the fridge, but Evan had beaten me there and was already pulling the jam from the fridge shelf. I hope that jar doesn't slip through his little fingers and break, I thought, just as it did! The jam managed to stay in a fairly neat red splatter on the floor, but the broken glass was a different story. It was everywhere, in a hundred pieces. I covered my mouth with my hands to keep the tiredness and frustration from spilling out. "Never do that again!" Evan offered in a sorry and slightly worried tone. I forced my thoughts into a short prayer. Suddenly Mom's words rushed back into my mind--"something new to learn and experience." I swooped up Evan to the safety of my arms. "First we had better get some shoes on your bare feet, then I'm going to show you how to clean up a broken jar of jam." Moments later, as I swept up the mess and Evan held the dustpan ready, I explained to my little pupil the dynamics of glass: how easily it shatters, and the best way to clean it up when it does. Mom's advice was wise. By treating the mishap as a new learning experience for my little one, I felt calm and controlled. Instead of scolding my son and promising myself I'd never make the mistake of letting him get something from the fridge by himself again, I had taught him how to deal with accidents in a positive way. We got another jar of jam from the cupboard, and went on to butter bread and spread jam together, make coffee for mom, and set it all out neatly on the table to enjoy together. That's when I caught myself actually enjoying the moment! "You're such a good cook, Evan!" His little eyes shone. "Mommy is so proud of you!" "Evan is so proud of you, Mommy!" he replied without hesitation. I smiled. Come to think of it, I was proud of myself too. "I think I'll buy another jar of jam and make it a permanent fixture on the kitchen counter," I told Evan, "because enjoying you at this moment is something I want to always remember!" Excerpted from Activated magazine. Used with permission.
1. Make the little everyday things count. Look for special things that you can share and enjoy together during meal times, bedtime, and any other time you get to spend together. 2. Little family traditions, whether simple or funny, strengthen bonds and create good memories. Adopt a family song or slogan (or make one up). Pick a meal that’s a family favorite, and serve it when you want to celebrate a special occasion. 3. Set aside a time of day that’s especially reserved for your children. Turn off the TV, your cell phone, and anything else that could be a distraction, and give your children your full attention. 4. Plan your “family times” ahead of time, so that they’re quality and fun. Your children can be included in the planning. Filling out a weekly or monthly planner with activities that you’ll do can be a fun activity in itself. 5. Take on a hobby that you can enjoy with your children. Find out what they’re interested in and get into a long-term project with them. Partake of a learning experience together. 6. If you have more than one child, besides your times all together, try to spend one-on-one time with each of them regularly. This special time with you will help them to feel individually loved and appreciated. 7. Read together. There are a great variety of children’s stories here at www.freekidstories.org. These and other stories can provide fun reading that will also teach children good moral values. 8. Have fun with your children! Don’t be afraid to let your hair down and goof around with them. They need and want those playful times with you. 9. Do something spontaneous and different every once in a while, such as having an impromptu picnic dinner, or driving out to the country on a weekend to spend the day in the sun. 10. Be affectionate. A hug, a cuddle, a pat on the head, are all expressions of love and care, and go a long way in boosting your child’s confidence and security. You need affection too! Article © TFI. Used with permission.
Bearing babies and raising children is the greatest experience in this natural life. Children are eternal gifts--not just for a time, but for eternity. Of course children are not only a gift of God, but also the work of God. That's a full-time job, but with that big job come big rewards and lots of benefits. You should be very proud to be a parent, because yours is the greatest work in the world--molding the future. The world of tomorrow is what the parents of today make it, according to the way they raise their children. Never minimize the training of your children. Did you ever realize that the most important things children are going to learn in their lifetimes, they learn before they're five years old? So just think how important it is that you teach and train them right during those first formative years. That's why the Bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). You can't wait till your child is five years old before you begin teaching him or her. Every single day counts, and what that child learns each day is important. You as a parent are responsible to see to it that your child is not only fed, clothed, protected, and kept healthy, but also that your child is taught God's Word, trained in His truth, and inspired with His love. Some parents have the wrong attitude that if their kids learn, they learn, and if they don't, they don't. While children shouldn't be forced to learn something they don't want to learn, the truth of the matter is that all children want to learn. They're happier and feel more fulfilled when they are learning, and they can learn a lot more with a parent's guidance and encouragement than if they are just left to learn on their own. My mother and father placed great importance on teaching me about the Bible, the Lord, spiritual values, and biblical truths. Bible stories and the Bible itself were a tremendous influence in my life. I loved them and believed them because I knew they were the voice of God and the Book of God. As a result, my knowledge of God's Word and its truths were what guided my decisions and kept me through many difficult situations as I grew older. It's simple to teach your young children about Jesus. Just do it from your heart! Point them to the Lord by your example and your love, and by talking to them about Jesus. As soon as they're old enough to understand what a mother or a father is--someone who loves them and takes care of them, who helped create them and gave birth to them--they're old enough to receive Jesus as their Savior. Just explain that there is a great unseen Father who is everywhere and loves us all very much, but because we've all been bad and deserve to be punished, He sent Jesus to take our punishment for us. Then have them repeat a simple prayer like the following: Dear Jesus, please forgive me for being bad. Please come into my heart and help me to be good. That's all they have to do! Jesus said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God" (Mark 10:14). He's just waiting to become their Best Friend and Savior! May God help us to be good stewards of the most precious gifts He's given us--our children! Written by D.B. Berg and excerpted from Activated magazine. Used with permission. It’s amazing the clarity of thought I have. It’s like the world has suddenly slowed down its insane pace. Each second seems like an hour. Time has stopped to watch me fall. The world around me is a kaleidoscope of madly spinning colors. Blue sky blending nauseatingly with gray pavement, and then back again. I’d be panicking, except reality hasn’t sunk in yet, probably a result of the whisky.
I am going to die. It’s funny how I’m not afraid. Somehow I feel like I’m not really here, like I’m watching someone else through a window. Someone else about to die. They’ll probably write me off as another suicide case. Another rich guy with problems who dove off a skyscraper. They’ll search the penthouse and find the half-empty whisky bottle on the roof. A story will probably be printed in the Times, construing the reasons I jumped. But that’s where they’ll be wrong. I didn’t jump. I wish I could clear that up somehow. Show them that I was sitting on the railing. Show them how I leaned just a little too far back. Show them that I’m not suicidal. It’s too late for that, though. What bothers me is that this is how I will be remembered. My children will grow up thinking their dad killed himself. Jamie’s only five. Little Mariangela is barely two years old. How do you explain something like that to a two-year-old? I should have spent more time with them. My wife Kyla too. She might not have left yesterday if I had been around more. What was it for anyway? The promotion? I put in so many hours of overtime, I probably set a record. Trying to impress the boss. What was that—three years ago? Now here I am, a partner in the largest law firm in the city. Filthy rich. Time‘s “Man of the Year.” I spent so long trying to make it to the top, and when I finally made it, I realized that I left behind everything that really mattered. Hence the whisky. Humans are so unintelligent. We’re too proud to learn from others’ mistakes—we have to make our own. How many times had I heard somebody’s sob story about how he lost his family because he worked too hard? But no, I was so sure it would never happen to me. It’s amazing Kyla put up with me as long as she did. What was I, nuts? I had a beautiful wife and two beautiful children who I never spent time with. I was at work before they even woke up. The only time they saw me was if they were up when I came home late at night. I wasn’t even there on the weekends. Putting in 16-hour workdays. How could I have been so stupid? I actually believed that being rich would make us happy. Pathetic. And then I actually ran out of things to buy. I wonder what I put in my will? I can’t even remember. Probably gave it all to Kyla. What is she going to do with all those millions? Give it away, probably. She never did care about money. She told me almost every week that money couldn’t buy happiness. I didn’t believe her. I’m getting close to the ground; I can see the cracks in the sidewalk now. I close my eyes and wait. It should be any second now. A minute goes by, then another. I don’t want to open my eyes, so I wait. Another minute, and yet another. Finally I open my eyes. I’m in my bed. In my own house. Not lying splattered on the sidewalk. Kyla is lying beside me. An annoyingly persistent noise grabs my attention—it’s the clock beside my bed, alerting me to the fact that it’s now 5:30. Time to get up and go to the office. What just happened? Was it a dream? It couldn’t have been a dream. I remember it all too clearly. The divorce papers Kyla had served me with, the whisky I had been drinking on the roof, the fall. I turn off the alarm. If it wasn’t a dream, I can only conclude that I have been given a second chance. It felt like something out of a movie. Whatever it is, I’m grateful for it. I unplug the phone by the bed and turn the alarm clock off. Kyla will be astonished that I’m still here when she gets up later this morning. I haven’t taken a vacation in three years. Tomorrow we’ll go to the beach for a week. If my boss doesn’t like it, he can fire me. I don’t care. I might quit anyway. I’ll tell him that I realized there’s more to life than money. The primary factor in raising children is love. If parents can just learn to treat their children with love and consideration, the children will feel loved and secure. Most parents can't be with their children all the time, but it's difficult for small children to understand that. Children think they should be the most important things in the world to their parents, so when the parents can't show them constant attention because of other obligations, it hurts the children--and of course, the more children you have, the less individual time and attention you can give each one. That's why it's so important for parents to tune in to their children and give them love and attention when they do have the opportunity. Give each one lots of love and encouragement, because words have the power to build them up and help them feel loved. "Look what a big boy you are! We're so proud of you. You've learned so much!" Say things that will let them know they really are special to you. Small children, especially, don't yet have a concept of time, so if you give one child something and tell the others that theirs will come next time, "next time" will probably seem a long way away and very nebulous. So in most cases when you give one something, you should try to do a little something special for the others too. You can't and shouldn't treat all of your children the same all the time. Each needs to know they are special in their own way. And when one needs something that the others don't, they have to be taught that it's according to need, not because one is more loved. If you take one out to get a needed pair of shoes, for example, and you bring the others back a little toy or something that may cost only a few cents, this shows that you love them and remembered them too. A lot of adults don't realize how important it is to explain things to children. You can't just assume that they understand. How can they understand hardly anything unless you explain it to them? Most adults don't take things without some kind of explanation, and children have as much right to an explanation as anybody. If you think there could be any question in their minds or hurt feelings, explain. Even if they can't understand everything you say, just the fact that you try to explain it conveys to them that you're concerned about their feelings, and that will help. It's nearly always a problem when somebody else comes along, like a new baby, who they think is going to take their place. Children's feelings are just the same as adults', only difficult situations can be even more traumatic for children when they haven't experienced those things before and therefore don't have the assurance that things usually work out in the end. That's why children are so much more vulnerable than adults, because of their very limited experience. So you have to treat children even more carefully and tenderly and considerately than adults. It breaks my heart when I see parents in public places cuff their child on the head or lash out over something that the poor child probably didn't understand in the first place. It's tragic! Children are more sensitive and more easily hurt than adults. They instinctively love and trust their parents, and to destroy that is really sad! A little love goes a long way! Children are bound to have problems, but no matter what the problem stems from, love can correct it. "Love covers over all wrongs" (Proverbs 10:12 NIV). Just a little love and concern can make up for a lot of mistakes and failures, no matter who or what is to blame. Love is the answer! Excerpted from Activated Magazine. Used with permission.
I recently heard a story from Stephen Glenn about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor—a veritable sea of milk! When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?" Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, "You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel, or a mop. Which do you prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk. His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let’s go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson! This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn’t need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment doesn’t work, we usually learn something valuable from it. Wouldn’t it be great if all parents would respond the way Robert’s mother responded to him? —Jack Canfield |
Categories
All
Archives
March 2024
LinksFree Children's Stories |